Have you or someone you love had unwanted sex? I’m so sorry! I get it and even though I know a prayer for your healing after sexual violence is the most powerful thing I can do for you, I just wish I could give you a hug.
My heart is heavy as I think about you and what you’re trying to process. So, I’m just going to start where it feels like I have no words . . .
A prayer for your healing after sexual violence:
You know what each person reading this needs to hear. Will You put those words in this prayer?
Please give me Your words for this prayer for healing after sexual violence.
Thank You for holding each woman and carrying her when she needs it.
Thank You for collecting her tears in a bottle. (Psalm 56:8)
You know what her tears would say if they had a chance to talk. I trust You to speak to her heart in response to those prayers her tears are praying. ❤️
You may have heard this before, but sometimes it’s hard to embrace this truth.
The sexual violence was not your fault.
I’m not sure why so many of us are convinced that it was, but that’s a lie.
Maybe there are things we did, gave permission to, or did not refuse. But God knows our hearts. And He knows what we didn’t want.
This is not your fault.
When any emotion rises up within us,
like anger or fear or depression,
thank you for seeing me.
Thank You that no emotion I express is a surprise for You, nor is it ever too much for You to help me through it.
God loves you more than you can possibly understand.
- No, this wasn’t to punish you for something you’ve done
- No, God’s not using it to teach you a lesson.
Neither of those are true.
God loves you and weeps with you. And you can bring your “whys” to Him. In fact, you can bring everything you want to God. He can take it, whatever it is, and He will never leave you!
That’s one of His promises to you.
In From Faith to Faith, I read:
“For God so loved the world that He gave. . .
and He gave . . .
and He gave.
That’s just how God is.
He loves you more than you will ever know
and He will never stop giving to you.
How do you feel?
As I worked at naming the tangled ball of emotion inside, I singled out one at a time.
Just as though I’d pulled a strand of yarn from my mom’s knitting bag, I set it aside and let it speak to me.
The fire-engine-red helped me to own my anger and name what was taken from me.
The electric-orange helped me to sort through my confusion of what I did and didn’t feel, and what I did and didn’t do. Of course, we all make mistakes, so I owned what I thought might be my part, like how I trusted the man and I went with him. But I didn’t give him permission to do that.
Royal blue broke through like a flood, a balm that brought healing to my broken heart. A calming peace I didn’t know I had somewhere in the midst of all the other, it felt good.
Lastly, I pulled out the gray strand of grief and realized it was more of a silver than gray. The effects of grief, yes, are often a treasure.
This wasn’t the first time I’d gone through the colors of my emotion regarding my feelings connected to my sexual abuse. No, healing comes in layers. It’s common to have several, to go back to God whenever we need and share the emotions of the moment again.
Please take the expression of my emotions
and work through them to heal me.
You gave me emotions.
Healing comes through feeling.
I don’t like to feel some things,
but trust You
to help me release each one.
What are your whys?
When you can, put them to words. Brainstorm a list of them by letting them fall on the page. Don’t interrogate them, just let them be.
If you can’t, that’s okay. I am glad you’re here. Please don’t do anything you aren’t ready to do.
And sometimes, when I can’t think of what to say, I’m grateful when someone else lends me their words that begin to explain my own thinking to me. For that reason, I’ll share my list of whys.
Please feel free to borrow the words that are helpful and skip the words that are not.
And just like with emotions, this is not my first list of whys. Healing comes in layers.
Why, God, why didn’t You protect me?
You could have stopped what happened.
Why didn’t I do something to protect myself?
I let some things happen that I could have stopped.
Why did he feel like he could do this to me?
I don’t like the angst of not knowing why.
I like to know the answer to my questions.
Here are my whys.
Please work through them to heal me.
Now, when you’re ready, it’s also okay to put your pain into words.
I know, this is hard.
Again, honor yourself. Don’t do it until you’re ready. And you may never be ready. If you have to skip this step, that’s okay. I trust you to be there for yourself and only do what you are ready to do. 🙂
Remember, you are welcome, and I’m glad you are here.
If I were to give my pain a microphone, I wonder what it would say?
I think it might say:
I know, how do you say that? That’s not exactly the word I used, but I’m trying not to swear.
Sometimes it just feels good to scream.
Be careful, though. At one point, I was having one good scream a day and I recommended it to a friend. Go easy on the first try. She screamed so loud she lost her voice for three days!
Will you let God speak to you?
He loves you so very much and longs to say the exact words your heart needs to hear.
And you know how sometimes you know something in your head, but the concept hasn’t convinced your heart yet? Then when the understanding gets to your heart, nothing can steal if from you. 😊
That’s called revelation.
Often, you need God to revelate the truth to you, to get those words to penetrate so you fully receive them and recognize where you’ve been believing something other than the truth.
The evil one is called “the father of lies” for a reason. He steals from you by getting you to believe things that are not true.
Remember, the truth sets you free!
Because this is so super important,
I put together four short videos to help you.
I’d love to give them to you
and I’ll tell you how to get them at the end of this post!
here are a few more words
to aid in your healing after sexual violence.
God has A LOT of sweet promises for you, like . . .
“God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28)
Don’t get trapped on the end of that verse. You are called according to His purpose, I promise! Don’t listen to any lies that tell you otherwise, okay?
I got stuck on “Do I love Him?” for a while. Don’t go there right now.
You’re here seeking prayer for healing after sexual violence, doing the best you can, and He so loves you, so let’s move on.
Now, how could God possibly work this for your good?
A long time ago, God asked me to stop defending Him. So, I can’t tell you exactly what He’ll do with your pain, but I can tell you this much . . .
God doesn’t lie. (Titus 1:2)
I’ve been walking with Him for 30 years and I know that’s true.
How did God work my sexual abuse for good? After He healed me, He led me to write so I could be right here today with you as part of your healing journey. ☺️
In Jeremiah 29:11, it says, “I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (NLT)
God’s plans for you are your destiny and you don’t want to miss out on that, right?
Every time you come to a standstill and you’re not sure what to do, you can turn to God and say, “I want what You said in Jeremiah 29:11. Show me what to do here.”
He loves a heart that prays like that and as you lean towards His direction, He’ll teach you how to recognize His voice better and even give you the strength to follow it.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:13, NKJV)
Don’t forget this one!
Say the words out loud. Can you feel them supporting you?
These things are lifesavers. Here, let me put all three of them into a meme for you that you can share to an email and print. That way, you can remind yourself every time you need a boost!
And there is something powerful about saying them out loud. Your spirit hears your agreement with them, and it empowers you.
And one more thing.
Healing comes through forgiveness. I know this isn’t easy, but when you are ready, God will help you.
Please help me to forgive my perpetrator.
And help me to forgive You.
Also, help me to forgive myself.
And show me if there is anyone else I need to forgive?
In my prayer for your healing after sexual violence, I’m asking God to help you with the layers of this because it’s not easy, but it may just be the most powerful part of healing.
I’m here for you.
So, I would love, love, love for you to join my spiritual adventure team.
Each week, I’ll touch base with you. In a short email, I’ll share a funny God story or attempt to enCOURAGE you with something God has shown me because I believe that He’ll do everything for you that He’s done for me, if that’s what you want.
And when you sign up, I’ll send you those four videos I mentioned above where I’ll walk you through the 7 Quick Steps to Heal all your Emotional Pain. You can use it over and over to heal all kinds of things!
God has an awesome plan for you, and I want to help you find that. ☺️
Would you like to find a counselor to help you?
One thing I did was I sign up for a class called The Wounded Heart.
For a year, I met weekly with a group of women who became lifelong friends as we processed our stories with two co-leaders.
That’s part of my prayer for your healing after sexual violence. ❤️