Are you grieving the loss of a friend?
Inside: Grieving the loss of a friend is never easy.
But here are a few things we can do to honor our loved ones
that also help us feel better. ❤️
How do we do this thing? Grieve this loss.
There is no right way.
And at the same time, we cannot grieve wrong. So the first thing we can remind ourselves is this, how we feel is okay. Even if we feel numb right now. That’s okay, too. It’s all part of the process.
Thank you, Louis Galvez, for sharing your picture.
And as you go through that process,
You can expect to feel a rainbow of emotion.
All of your feelings are okay.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the author of On Death and Dying, is well-known for writing about the five stages of grief:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
Her co-author, David Kessler, wrote a book called Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. And other stages were added, too, like shock and guilt.
As you go through your own process of grief, you may find others.
Just remember, all of your feelings are okay.
And you are never alone.
I know it can feel that way, but
God is always, always, always there for you.
Over and over, God promises that in the Bible. OpenBible actually shares 62 different Bible verses that talk about God always being with us and never leaving.
When we’re grieving, it can be hard to focus.
So, when we find a something like this that lifts our spirits, it can help to stare at those words until they sink in. And you can always come back to them as a reminder.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed”
(Psalm 34:18, NLT).
Sometimes, people get mad at God
when they’re grieving the loss of a friend because they feel like God took that loved one from them. If you’re mad at God, consider letting Him have it.
And by that, I mean:
Don’t be afraid to unload on God.
It can be helpful to get things off of your chest
and tell God why you’re mad and sad and hurt . . .
When you’re ready, if you want to, you can give your sorrows to God.
1 Peter 5:7 says, “Since God cares for you, let Him carry all your burdens and worries” (The Voice). Yes, God gave us emotions. And feeling is part of healing. But when we let Him, God will carry our pain for us.
The burden is not too much when you feel it with God.
I pray for you that:
“God, the fountain of hope,
fill you to overflowing with uncontainable joy
and perfect peace as you trust in him.
And may the power of the Holy Spirit
continually surround your life with his super-abundance
until you radiate with hope!”
(The Passion, Romans 15:13)
I bet you could use His help. 🙂
How do I know?
Because I’m grieving today, too.
When I started this post, I forgot that whatever I focus on with God, I experience. And I also forgot that October is a month filled with anniversaries of loved ones who’ve passed.
And just last week, another friend died. So of course, I’m sad.
As I mourn TJ,
I’m reminded of how I felt unconditionally loved by him.
In 2011, I spent time in a small library on the Oregon Coast. I met Dave, TJ’s friend. Dave looks exactly like one of those statues of sea captains you see in gift stores in coastal towns, sort of like this picture of TJ.
Dave often sat next to me at the computer. And we’d talk about faith.
Because of his past, Dave was skeptical.
I think it’s because of my past that I’m not. I always wonder, How did I do life without God?
One day, Dave asked me to pray for TJ who was sitting at the table in that small library. We held hands and I prayed, “God, will You please reveal Yourself to TJ? Show him Your love for him and anything else You might want him to see.”
That prayer began an 8-year friendship.
TJ and I collected agates. We walked my dog and we drank lots of coffee at the local diner, Grumpy’s, and chatted with the waitress, Julie.
Somehow, we always landed on the subject of God.
Even though TJ prayed with me to invite Jesus into his heart, I never recognized his faith as Christian exactly. It’s not that it wasn’t true, but he also wasn’t afraid to keep wondering about other faiths.
A friend said, “You guys bicker like an old married couple.”
She was probably right.
I’m guessing that since you are here,
you might be mourning, too?
If you are grieving the loss of a friend,
I wish we could sit across from each other with a cup of our favorite beverage and you could tell me about your friend.
Sometimes I think we hold back from asking each other about our losses but remembering our friends, thinking about them, and talking about them with others is an important part of grief.
And I know that TJ would be so glad to know that we were talking about him and remembering him especially if it might help you in some way. He liked to help everyone.
Grief comes in layers
and often when we least expect it.
Grieving isn’t something ANYONE wants to do. And maybe the real struggle is that we are going to deal with grief whether we want to or not.
So, how do we find relief?
One way we can do that is to celebrate the gift of our friendship. I’m grateful for having had TJ in my life for as long as I did. And I miss him. So I’m going to accept his transition by:
- Grieving him well.
- Feeling all my emotions so I heal and move forward because that’s what he would want me to do.
- And by remembering him often with a smile.
Since time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds, I’ll spend time with God who is my Healer who is always there.
God’s the one who can heal all things and I ask Him to do that for you. ❤️
What brings you comfort?
It’s important to be aware of what you need
moment by moment
and to spend time doing it.
Because when we’re grieving the loss of a friend,
we need A LOT of self-care.
It’s not only okay; it’s important. ❤️
Related Posts:
This Sounds Weird But I Love a Cool God Story When Someone Dies
What Does Grieving with God Look Like?
The Problem of Grief and a Surprisingly Simple Solution
Another Resource: GriefShare
