Are you grieving the loss of a friend?

Inside: Grieving the loss of a friend is never easy.
But here are a few things we can do to honor our loved ones
that help us feel better. ❤️

How do we do this thing? Grieve a loss.

There is no right way.

And at the same time, we cannot grieve wrong. So, the first thing we can remind ourselves is this, how we feel is okay. Even when we don’t feel.

It’s all part of the process.

And maybe the most important thing to remember is that it’s a good idea to go easy on ourselves.

Crying is actually healing when you're grieving the loss of a friend.

Thank you, Louis Galvez, for sharing your picture.

As you go through the process,

You can expect to feel a rainbow of emotion.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the author of On Death and Dying, is well-known for writing about the five stages of grief:

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

Her co-author, David Kessler, wrote a book called Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. In it, other stages were added like shock and guilt.

As you go through your own personal process of grief, trust yourself to know what you need and when you need it.

The process of grief
is unique and personal.

And remember, all of your feelings are okay.

You are never alone.

I know it can feel that way, but

God is always, always, always there for you.

Over and over, that’s what He promises us in the Bible. OpenBible actually shares 62 different Bible verses that talk about God always being with you and never leaving.

When we’re grieving, it can be hard to focus.

So, when we find something that lifts our spirits, it can help to stare at the words until they sink in.

And you can always come back to them as a reminder. Maybe something like this is helpful to you.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted”
(Psalm 34:18, NLT).

Sometimes people get mad at God

when they’re grieving the loss of a friend.

They feel like God took that loved one from them when He could have stopped them from dying.

If you’re mad at God, consider letting Him have it.

And by that, I mean:

Don’t be afraid to duke it out with God.
It can be helpful to get things off of your chest
and tell God why you’re mad and sad and hurt . . .

And when you’re ready,

if you want to, you can give your sorrows to God, too.

1 Peter 5:7 says, “Since God cares for you, let Him carry all your burdens and worries” (The Voice).

God gave us emotions. And feeling is part of the healing. But when we let Him, God will also carry our pain for us.

The burden is not too much
when you feel it with God.

I pray for you that:

that God would give you strength
and help you come to a place of peace as you struggle to understand the unknowable
and comfort you like no one else can

If you let Him,
God can help you.

How do I know?

Because I’m grieving, too.

When I started this post, I forgot that whatever I focus on with God, I experience. And I also forgot that this is a month filled with anniversaries of loved ones who’ve passed.

Just last week, another friend died. So of course, I’m sad.

As I mourn TJ,

I’m reminded of how unconditionally loved I felt by him.

I'm grieving the loss of this friend today.

In 2011, I spent time in a small library on the Oregon Coast. That’s where I met Dave, TJ’s friend. Dave looks exactly like one of those statues of sea captains you see in gift stores in coastal towns, sort of like this picture of TJ.

Dave often sat next to me at the computer and we’d talk about faith.

Because of his past, Dave was skeptical.

I think it’s because of my past that I’m not. I always wonder, How did I do life without God?

One day, Dave asked me to pray for TJ. In that small library, we held hands and I prayed,

“God, will You please reveal Yourself to TJ?
Show him Your love for him
and anything else You might want him to see.”

That prayer began an 8-year friendship.

TJ and I collected agates. We walked my dog and we drank lots of coffee at the local diner as we chatted with the waitress.

One friend said, “You two bicker like an old married couple.”

She was probably right.

Thank you for listening.

I hope you can find someone
to talk to about the loved one
you lost.

I wish we could sit across from each other with a cup of our favorite beverage and you could tell me about your friend.

It helps when we talk about them.

Sometimes, I think we hold back from asking each other about our losses. But remembering our friends, thinking about them, and talking about them with others is an important part of grief.

I know that TJ would be glad to know that we were talking about him especially if it might help you in some way.