How Do You Make the Best of It?

Inside: How WE CAN make the best of it especially when we believe IT is a big mistake!

You know how it is, when someone you love makes, not just a little decision you disagree with, but something they’re going to have to live with for the rest of his or her lives, something you’re going to have to live with, too, how do you make the best of it?

The other day, in this world full of divisiveness, it scared me how quickly I turned on my sister . . .

What do you do when you stress? 

Do you scream all the way home as if you’re talking to the person you are mad at? That’s not a bad thing to do, you know. Getting it off your chest, however you do it, is a good thing.

I swim. After my conversation with my sister, I needed a pool.

Back and forth, I swam for an hour, then two, longing for my body to feel tired in a good way.

I didn’t know what to think.

Why was I so mad?

The day before, I’d just had my first good night’s sleep in weeks, and I hadn’t yet had my coffee when my sister Facetimed.

“Are you sitting down?” she bubbled, “I’m getting married!”

Of course, I wanted to be happy for her.

After her first husband left seven years ago, she did an amazing job raising the girls. Last fall, the second left for college. My sister hadn’t been looking forward to an empty nest so she and I brainstormed ways she could deal with that.

This man was not on the list.

Have you been through
something like this?

I replayed conversation in my mind

with friends who think differently. But that didn’t help.

And I know there are plenty of stories in the Bible where the husband is older than the wife. It’s normal in other cultures even though ours labels it negatively, with terms like Cougars and Dirty Old Men.

One friend said: 

We joke about our 5 years. He joined the army when I was 12.  That would have been jailable!   Our boys call him a cradle robber, but at 56 and 61 it ain’t a thing . . . to lose family support, that has to be hard, though not uncommon due to race, religion, or prior history. From where I sit—way outside the box—I just see heartbreak for her sooner than most.

When this happens,
what’s your strongest opponent?

Mine was my pride.

As I crawled out of bed, my niece texted:

“I don’t think any of our discomfort about this is from the Spirit.”

Whoa.

Her words got to me, maybe because they were true.

But it didn’t stop me from whining to God,

“This guy she was marrying was in his late 20’s when my sister was born!”

Lord, how do I make the best of it?

This was another reminder of how imperfect I am.

We all are and it’s nice to have someone like God to walk us through life, carry us when we need it. He knows our hearts.

He knows that I love my sister and only want the best for her even when I disagree with her.

All of a sudden, I felt like I was the one who was wrong.

Could that be right?

The Bible says, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1, NIV).

Ugh!!

Sometimes that doesn’t seem fair, does it?

Growing up, I dealt with sex abuse. When I got help, I learned that

if we don’t forgive,
we’ll continue to suffer. 

We never truly gain freedom without forgiveness.

Again, that didn’t seem fair. I didn’t do anything wrong. I was the victim. And yet, if I didn’t forgive, again the pain would fall on me.

Over the years, I’ve had lots of forgiveness lessons. They are a huge key to finding freedom.

Related Post: You, too? Find Freedom When You Share Your Story

So, how do we make the best of it when we disagree?

“Pray to me,” God says, “and I will answer you. I will tell you important secrets. You have never heard these things before” (Jeremiah 33:3, ERV).

His words felt like the healing balm I needed.

God,
I’m sorry that I’ve been judging them.
Please forgive me?

What we can’t do, Lord, You can.

Change my heart.
I give You the dissension in my family
and ask, will You make the best of it?

So, now . . .

1. I’m showing up in my prayer chair.
2. Bullet-pointing my angst.
3. Asking Jesus to hear it as a prayer.
4. Then the Holy Spirit, the One who knows how to help me find my way back to my sister, whispers inside and nudges me as to what to do or what to say.

And I stand on the promise God gives us:

“We know that in all things
God works for the good of those who love Him”
(Romans 8:28, NIV).

I speak it out loud because there’s power in our words. For one thing, we believe ourselves.

And when I say the words as if I mean them, they kick butt on the straggly bits I’m holding onto, the things that are trying to keep me from loving my sister AND HER NEW HUSBAND the way I want to.

Are you with me?

Sometimes love can be surprising!

If I wasn’t writing to you about this . . .

I’d still be wallowing. But since I wanted to have something positive to say, I’m lighting a fire under my own butt and giving all my angst to God. 

So thanks.

You and God helped me to send these words to my sister. And not just to say the words, but to do it.

You know what?

Whatever you’re struggling with today, God can help. Let Him whisper sweet somethings into your ear.

•             Through a Bible
•             A devotional
•             Or a seemingly random one-liner that pegs it for you through a friend

. . . like what happened to me with my niece.

And don’t forget, God will help you make the best of it, whatever it is.

Because that’s how God is, He really does work all things together for good (Romans 8:28). I’ve seen Him do it over and over.

Today, I bless you with peace.

No matter what you’re going through,
you can give it to God.
He’ll help you make the best of it,
every single bit.

You can give Him your anxiety,
exchange it for peace that doesn’t even make sense.

And you’ll feel a lot better! ☺️

Lord, thank You for each one reading this.

Would You do that? Take each one of his or her cares and concerns and trade them for Your kind of peace.

Fill each one with so much peace that everyone around says, “I want what you’re having!” 

Related Post: What Does Grieving a Traumatic Event with God Look Like?

And How Can I Pray for You?